I celebrated my birthday this year very quietly with my family.
For weeks leading to the day, I was fraught with anxiety over who I’ve become, what I have accomplished, and where I wanna go. I wasn’t sure what I expected would change or what I wanted to happen.. but I do know I was waiting for something.
My birthday came and went and I still feel like the same old me. There was no alleluia moment nor did I get any new answers to my old questions. I still do not look a year older than last year though my voice became raspy from being sick the last two weeks.
I felt disappointed because “nothing changed” and I shared my sentiments to my bestest friends.. who also reminded me to loosen up and drop my expectations. Things always change though maybe not in the way I want them too. And when I reflected a bit more, I was reminded that life also happens during the small moments not just the grand ones. I must pay attention to them too.
It’s a great lesson in mindfulness and being present that’s maybe exactly what I’m “waiting for” for my birthday.